Matching Mentoring Partners

People think matching is crucial and perhaps it is. When you talk to people who have been matched by coordinators of a program, they will often want to know how the matches were made and, as a client once put it: "they want to believe that there was some science to it." People who have enjoyed the mentoring experience often say that it was "the chemistry" that was essential.

I beg to differ. I think that the skills and attitudes of both parties are what make the difference.

Mentorees need to want the opportunity and be prepared to commit to self-development.

Mentors need to understand that their role is to facilitate a process that enables their mentoring partner to set goals make informed decisions and action them.

Informed decisions, by definition, mean that some information has been accessed, appraised and accepted. A skilled mentor will firstly, assist the mentoree to access and reflect upon their own experience. If additional information is needed, other sources may be consulted and, the mentor may share their experiences or cite examples they have observed. Once sufficient information is available, the mentor facilitates a process of critical appraisal by the mentoree enabling them to choose an acceptable course of action.

The key factors in matching are really:

1. Selection criteria for participants

2. Education about the roles and responsibilities

3. Developing and supporting skills and attitudes

1. Selection 

Recruiting mentors is no different to recruitment for any other role. You’ll develop a range of selection criteria. Most of all though, you’ll want to choose mentors who are:

Willing - volunteers not conscripts;

Able - have, or can make the time required;

Capable - have or can develop skills of rapport, active listening, questioning;

Accept – that the role that is not to teach, preach, tell or sell their own ideas but rather to elicit the thoughts of their mentoring partner.

It also helps if the mentorees have some input to the matching by specifying what's important to them e.g gender, cultural background, geographic location, specific experience etc.

2. Education 

Prior to any mentoring program, you’ll have a communication strategy to help all employees understand what mentoring is and why it’s important. An information kit provided to people who are interested, or available on your intranet will help people understand mentoring roles and responsibilities and allow them to make an informed decision to opt in.

3. Development and Support 

No matter how experienced people are, some form of training is required for effective mentoring. You want to make sure that both parties are very clear on what they are doing and how to go about it. They need to understand what can go wrong and how to avoid problems. They need to learn the subtle skills that can make or break a relationship.

Once you have trained and put the pairs together is also vital. If there is no ongoing support, relationships can fizzle out. So you need a program of follow-up, activities and review processes to ensure mentoring achieves the desired outcomes.

I won't say matching doesn't matter, and you do need a planned strategy to make it work, but I will say that if you have two people who are willing, have good intent, know how to build rapport, listen actively and ask questions, teach them the mentoring process. I believe that’s what makes mentoring work!

What do you think?  Leave a comment!